In It

Authors Note: Since I put this under 'Bad Scripts', I should probably explain why I think it belongs here. This was my first script.  I didn't know anything about the conventions of the genre, or what I'd be good or bad at. I just did it. In that sense, I consider this more of a learning experience than an actual script, but as a script it's lacking in all the things that make my good scripts good. Rhythmic control, decent dialogue, consistent voices, actually interesting things happening; this script doesn't have any of that. But I'm putting this here in the same vain as how Dietz & Watson let the TV show How It's Made film how they make their sausages. This is the terrible start to what became a few alright scripts. 

3 characters: Derek, Brad, and Police 1.

The scene is a jail. Two men in police custody, Derek and Brad, are in two cells next to each other. Derek’s is closer to stage left, and they can’t see each other. Each cell has a bed in the back left of the cell, a toilet on the right, and a chair against the wall closest to stage centre, back to back if the wall wasn’t between them. Derek is sleeping in his bed, Brad is on his chair, staring off into space. Brad’s wearing a hoodie, with a London accent. Derek isn’t wearing a coat.

Derek slowly rouses himself, sits up in bed and looks around. He sighs.

Derek: Hey, you there Brad?

(Pause)

Brad?

Brad: Yea man?

Derek: Hey man, I’ve got an aching hangover here, so tell me, why are we in prison cells today?

                (Pause)

                Brad? What, you fall asleep?

Brad: (still looking off into space) Sorry man… we got well hammered. Think one of us pissed up a police car.

(Derek slowly nods, contemplating this. (pause). He looks up, confused).

Derek: Wait, so why was there a police car round Denise’s?

Brad: Mate, you got us thrown out of Denise’s. You wouldn’t stop flirting with the girls and half the lads.

Derek laughs.

Derek: Hey, if any of those men were as good looking as the girls, I’m sure I could’ve managed them. So, where’d we end up then?

                (pause)

                If we were pub hopping, it would’ve been that alleyway place off western plaza, right?

                (beat)

                What was a police car doing there?

                (beat)

                Brad?

Brad: (standing up sharply) The police were there cos you decided to take a bottle to someone’s head, mate. Out the fucking blue, on a guy who hadn’t said a fucking word to you. Then the police showed up.

                (pause. Silence)

                Brad sits back down.

                (quietly) They cuffed you, put you in the back seat. And I was so drunk and mad, I pissed on their bonnet.

(beat)

Derek: (cowed) damn, that’s. damn. We know how he’s doing?

Brad: Haven’t heard a thing since they put us in here.

                (pause)

 

                (Brad looks up) You holding up, mate?

Derek: I… Man, I don’t know. We talking like grazed his hair or…

Brad: Back of the head. Glass shards, everything.

                (beat)

                We’re in it now, mate.

Derek: Sounds like I’m in it, don’t know about you man.

(At this point, Police 1 enters from stage right, moving in front of the cells. He stops in front of Brad’s cell door. He opens it.)

Police 1: Bradley? Detective Rodrick will see you now.

Brad: (to Derek) nah mate, we both in it now. (to officer) ready, officer.

Brad and Police 1 walk off stage right.